We’ve all been there: setting goals with the best of intentions, only to watch them slowly unravel because we couldn’t quite get everything “just right.” Perfectionists and overachievers, you know what I mean—the kind of goals where you’re constantly tweaking, stressing over the smallest details, and wondering if you’re ever going to be “good enough” to meet any of these goals.

If you’ve ever felt like your own worst enemy in the pursuit of success, perfectionism is likely playing a leading role. It can seem like you’re just striving for excellence, but more often than not, perfectionism leads to anxiety, frustration, and—let’s be honest—total burnout.

In this post, we’re going to break down how perfectionism works against you and how to break free from its hold so you can hit your goals without all the stress. 

Trust me, I know it sounds easier said than done, but these habits are totally doable—and they can make a huge difference in how you feel every day. So, let’s dive into how small, simple changes can shift your mindset and help you take back control of your mental health.

What is Perfectionism, Really?

Here’s the thing: wanting to do your best isn’t the problem. But when you demand that everything be flawless at all costs, that’s where perfectionism starts to rear its ugly head. It’s that voice in your head telling you that if something isn’t done perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all. And spoiler alert: that’s not true.

Perfectionism shows up in a lot of different ways, like:

• Constantly raising the bar higher and higher until it feels out of reach.
• Second-guessing yourself over every little decision.
• Feeling like nothing you do is ever “good enough.”
• Avoiding challenges for fear of failure.

If that sounds like you, don’t worry—you’re not alone. A lot of high achievers struggle with these patterns, and recognizing them is the first step toward making a change.

How Perfectionism Sabotages Your Goals

So, how does perfectionism actually sabotage your goals? Well, it doesn’t exactly “help” you get things done. Really, it does the opposite. Here’s how:

1. Procrastination That Feels Productive

This one’s tricky. Perfectionists are masters at convincing themselves that they’re doing the right thing, even if it looks like they’re getting nothing done. Instead of just diving in and starting the task, you might spend hours researching, planning, or re-writing something until it’s “perfect”—which, spoiler alert, never happens. 

You end up stuck in a cycle of goal sabotage because you’re too afraid to make a mistake.

2. The Fear of Failing

Perfectionism and fear of failure go hand in hand. You’re so terrified of messing up that you end up avoiding risks altogether. Instead of taking the leap, you stay in your comfort zone, frozen in place, because the thought of making a mistake feels unbearable. But the truth is: failure isn’t something to fear—it’s how we learn and grow.

3. Burnout from Doing Too Much

Because perfectionists set the bar ridiculously high, they end up doing way more than is necessary. You say yes to every task, overcommit yourself, and try to juggle everything at once, thinking you can handle it all. I hate to tell you this, but you can’t. And when you burn out, your goals fall apart.

4. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Ever hear that voice in your head telling you, “If it’s not perfect, it’s worthless”? That’s perfectionism in action. This all-or-nothing thinking makes it hard to celebrate progress because you’re too focused on the end result. Here’s the kicker: real success is made up of tiny steps forward, not giant leaps toward perfection.

Overcoming Perfectionism: How to Actually Reach Your Goals Without Losing Your Mind

Now for the good news: you don’t have to let perfectionism keep you stuck. By shifting your mindset and changing a few habits, you can free yourself from its grip and start making real progress toward your goals. Here are some strategies that actually work:

1. Change Your View of Failure

Let’s start with the hardest one: failure. I know it sounds scary, but what if you stopped seeing failure as something to avoid at all costs? What if, instead, you viewed it as part of the journey? You can’t succeed without failing. Every failure teaches you something—whether it’s about your goals, your approach, or yourself.

So, instead of running away from mistakes, try embracing them as part of your process. And remember: you’re not perfect—and that’s perfectly okay.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Perfectionism often thrives on impossibly high expectations. That’s where you get stuck, trying to do everything perfectly, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and unproductive. So, let’s ditch the all-or-nothing mindset.

Instead of setting goals that demand perfection, try setting goals that are achievable and realistic. Break big goals down into smaller steps that you can actually complete without burning yourself out. Aim for progress, not perfection.

3. Embrace “Good Enough”

Perfectionism thrives on the need for things to be flawless. A little secret: “good enough” is more than enough. This doesn’t mean you should stop caring about quality—it just means that you don’t have to do everything at 110%.

Set yourself up for success by embracing the idea that not everything needs to be perfect. Give yourself permission to finish a task, step back, and move on. Remember: perfection doesn’t equal productivity.

4. Let Go of Comparison

As a high-achiever, you probably spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others, thinking they have it all figured out while you’re still struggling to keep up. The truth is, nobody’s perfect. The people you’re comparing yourself to? They’re likely struggling with their own version of perfectionism.

So, ditch the comparison game. Focus on your own progress, celebrate small wins, and trust that you’re on your own unique path.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

If you’re a perfectionist, you’re probably your own toughest critic. You may have a tendency to beat yourself up when things don’t go as planned, but self-criticism doesn’t help. In fact, it can make things worse.

Instead, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d offer a friend who’s struggling. Accept that you’re going to make mistakes—and that’s part of being human. It’s also part of being successful.

Embracing Imperfection

It’s easy to get stuck in the trap of perfectionism, but perfectionism is not the secret to success. It’s actually often the reason we don’t reach our goals in the first place.

By embracing imperfection, setting realistic goals, and learning to let go of the pressure, you’ll find yourself making steady progress without all the stress.

So, here’s to setting more achievable goals, failing forward, and ditching the idea of perfection once and for all. You’ve got this!

---

by Samm Brenner Gautier, LPC, LPCS-C